I saw this picture on Facebook,
and it coalesced so many thoughts that have been swirling around in my head for the past almost 4 years since I became a grandmother. Look at that woman. Isn't that the way most of us who are in our 50s and older remember our grammies looking. Floral print dresses with a half apron tied around their waists. I can picture the shoes - what used to be called 'sensible shoes.' And one of my grandmothers had those thick, cottony, brownish stockings. As I've noted before in my letters, I have no cooking memories with either of my grandmothers, except for my paternal one making homemade bread. And even then, I didn't see her make it. She just came into a room with it. This probably happened only once. Both my grammies were old when I was born, and already had a passel of grandchildren. I didn't live in the same town as them and visits were quiet afternoons with me sitting and listening to the grownups talk. I loved them both intensely but I just didn't see them enough.
Back to those rambling thoughts. My grandchildren have seen me in a dress only once at our niece's wedding. All my shoes are 'sensible' but not those clunky, heeled ones like old women used to wear. I never wear an apron, and if I did, it would be the long ones that go over the neck. But I look at the woman in the picture and I just think she is oh, so beautiful. Maybe in my seventies, I shall begin to dress like that. But I know I won't. Dresses aren't really very practical, though I love Lily Tomlin's in Grace and Frankie.
My babysitter when I was a kid had antimacassars on her furniture. I don't know how long it has been since I've seen one. And doilies. Many of my women relatives seem to have made doilies. And they embroidered pillowcases. All gone. Or at least they aren't anywhere in my travels.
I'm not one of those women who try to look young. I'm 69 and look every year of it. I'm happy with my grandmother status. But I feel kind of badly that Hazel, Campbell, and Indy won't ever see that woman in the picture. I have taken to wearing my hair back in a clip which feels 'grandmotherly' to me, but I think there will have to be another wedding before the kids see Nana in a dress again.
Here's a goofy-pose picture Hazel Nina took recently. I don't often put up photos of me, but I thought it fitting for this post.